How To “90s summer” Sans the Stress

I graduated from kindergarten at the start of the 90s and met my first love at the end of them. The current movement to “give kids a 90s Summer” finds me a stay-at-home mom to a daughter who’s just graduated kindergarten and two preschoolers. These things to say: I think I am uniquely qualified to comment on this trend.

For the most part, it seems to be a spin on encouraging less screen time. So let’s start there. As a young kid in the nineties, my screen time looked something like this:

1.      We’d wake up and run to the TV to watch cartoons or Sesame Street.

2.      At some point, I’d sit down with my brother and/or cousins to play a video game console (Nintendo, Sega, etc.) for at least an hour, probably more.

3.      We’d watch a VHS movie or show most of us liked when we were tired from running around outside.

4.      There were adult shows we would join in on (M*A*S*H with Dad, The Price is Right with Grandma, 90210 with Mom).

5.      Certain days brought with them special shows (a slew of them on Fridays for TGIF and “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” Saturday nights)

6.      In 1993 my family got our first computer. Put me down for an hour of fiddling and writing. (I don’t remember having access to the internet until the end of the 90s, when chat rooms became available with an AOL CD.)

This tallies to this 90s kid sitting in front of a screen for about 5 hours+ any given day, more on days with special viewing events.

              Are you surprised by that number? Honestly, I am. What I can say for that screen time is that it was mostly community-based. Except for the time I spent on our internet-less computer, screen time was time enjoyed with at least one other person. So, there’s that.

              Along with the push for less screen time, this trend encourages “old school” activities. Here’s where I’d take caution. In general, the adults taking care of us were not setting up activities for us to enjoy in the 90s. The garage-store where we sold my Great Grandma’s antiques to our brothers? No parent could have thought of that. The giant bush we cut into a Bush House? Again, pure childhood genius. As a Millennial Mom who had a toddler during the pandemic, I have been taught to curate activities for my children. But. This is exhausting and problematic both for the parent and the child. I don’t feel like getting into that here except to say: I’m not an advocate.

              Still, I get it. I did the whole dance for my first child. And maybe I’d still be doing it if I hadn’t had more kids. Honestly, I feel for parents of singletons—I think you might have it hardest and since I became a mom of three when my oldest was three, I won’t pretend to know how to go about your life. But for those of us with multiple children: I’m all in on letting them figure out their own activities. They can do it. When mine come to me bored I love regurgitating a line from my own childhood, “You’re bored? Let’s find something for you to clean.” I don’t know any phrase that inspires more creativity.

              Maybe show them how to blow the water balloons up and then go back in the house. Explain to them the Disposable Camera and then leave them to it. Simple steps to get them started make sense to me, but I also think that without these things they’ll still figure out something to do that will be nostalgic in its own way one day when they are parents being pressured to raise their children to the times.  

              I’m not saying not to engage with your kids. If you want to jump rope, buy them a jump rope and join in! Playtime with them can be playtime for you. And if it’s feeling like drudgery, it’s feeling that way to everyone. If you show up as your playful self for a game of jump rope and facilitate no other activity, it will make for better memories than if you spend your day exhausted from piling on the extra responsibilities of coordinating your kids’ daily “fun”.

              And the screen time? We didn’t have 24/7 access, and I personally don’t think a kid should. But we did still manage to have a significant amount of it. As long as you know what they’re up to, I say let them be on their tablets and phones for limited amounts of time without guilt.

And the rest of their day? Let’s give them the privilege of creating it for themselves.

And if they don’t want that freedom, there’s always laundry.